嗯，我還真剛好就在米國加州這個離病原中心很近的地點。
最近也收到一些跟這豬流感有關的轉寄信，
下面的方法是米國CDC（疾病防治中心）推薦的：
「
我應該如何做以避免流感？
首先最重要的是：清洗您的手。設法保持在健康狀態－得到足夠的睡眠、多運動、處理您的壓力、多喝液體，並吃營養的食物、避免碰觸可能沾染流感病毒的表面，避免與病人近距離接觸。
」
呃，我看我死定了。
快學期末了最好他媽的我有時間處理壓力啊！
…學校不知道會不會停課？
2009-04-26
2009-04-19
[硬漢廚房] 麵達
這家店其實早就該寫了。
會拖到現在的原因是我每次吃完這家店的拉麵就會失神好幾天…。
絕對不是因為難吃。
開玩笑，如果要我排出我在米國最常去的十家店，這家大概會在前五名。
那又為什麼會吃到失神呢？
因為
基於「米國什麼都大」的定律，
他媽的這家店一碗麵的份量大概可以抵上台灣路邊攤切仔麵三碗！！
右邊是我點的炒菜拉麵，上面那一堆那根本是一座蔬菜山！山！
左邊是我同學點的辣味增拉麵。
每次去這家店心裡都會跟坐雲霄飛車一樣：
1. 興奮：麵很Q，鹹度剛好而且料都很好吃。知道要吃好東西當然會很興奮。
2. 驚嚇：我每次吃都覺得比上次大碗…。
3. 挫折：埋頭苦幹一陣子之後麵還是一樣大碗，可是已經開始飽了感覺很悶。
電視冠軍的大胃王真的不是人啊…。
但是！基本上去吃一定會剩下湯沒喝完的我，這次總算完成完全殲滅的目標！！！
我成功啦！阿母！！！！！哇哈哈哈！！！
…接下來兩個月我應該是不會想再去了。
2009-04-17
強人？！
米國的教育系統基本上就是鼓勵你多發言，
所以上課時不管多白癡、多無聊的問題，
只要你想問，大概教授都會理你一下。
當然，「老師我要上廁所」這種爆炸性的發言是限於小學階段。
這樣的習慣造成了課堂上百家爭鳴的狀況，
能增加教授的印象分數就好，其他的誰管你。
而且以孔子的角度來看，
這種蠻夷之邦哪裡會懂得「揖讓而升，下而飲，其爭也君子」這樣的大道理。
不過苦的是最近我遇到的兩個白目都是亞洲面孔。
第一個白目，談他是很痛苦的一件事。
這傢伙照我看來，壓根就是應聲蟲。
「我得了一種上課沒拍一下教授馬屁就會死的病」是我能想到最貼切的形容。
總之不管教授說什麼鬼，
他就一定得屁個兩句，沒問題他硬要擠問題，
就算整合不出一個句子，「嗯」「啊」「哦」「哈哈」對他來說也是一定要的。
音量還剛好控制在全班都聽的到他放屁。
或許他真的很認真在聽，或許他真的是天才，有獨到見解不跟大家分享不行。
上學期一堂課，每個人都被要求選一堂課上台做五分鐘的報告，
你可以選複習上一堂課的內容或者是報告教授指定的內容。
這教授人是非常Nice的，基本上這個上台報告是上台就滿分。
這位大王選擇複習課堂內容。
五分鐘的報告，他搞了十五分鐘。這是上台報告的第一個大忌。
投影片密密麻麻的沒人看的清楚他放了什麼資料。上台報告的第二個大忌。
報告到一半（或者應該說超過時間），教授出來暫停這位天才忘我的表演，
「你報告的複習內容是錯的，我上課沒這樣教」
「你報告的複習內容是錯的，我上課沒這樣教」
「你報告的複習內容是錯的，我上課沒這樣教」
「你報告的複習內容是錯的，我上課沒這樣教」
…不知道當天課堂裡有多少人跟我一樣想把那天變成他的忌日。
第二位天才，是一位在金融界工作的女強人，
在金融學的課裡，因為專業背景的關係，說話鏗鏘有力。
她跟教授的對話在我們這些市井小民眼裡很像看成龍的電影 - 雙方都吊鋼絲高來高去的。
…而且她真的長的很像成龍。（我發誓！）
昨天，教授講解期末上台報告須知而且提到自願先報告的兩組他會以較寬鬆的規格看待。
快學期末了，每個人的狀況都是一秒幾十萬上下，事情多到整個靠悲，
這麼好的報告條件大家都想先搶先贏。
教授一邊發講義一邊說他沒料到大家會這麼踴躍，
經過成龍旁邊時，成龍突來一句說話：
「我想當第一組報告的，因為我們組員已經決定好了。」
「我想當第一組報告的，因為我們組員已經決定好了。」
「我想當第一組報告的，因為我們組員已經決定好了。」
「我想當第一組報告的，因為我們組員已經決定好了。」
挖咧幹！這樣也行喔？！
全班開學時組員都挑好了耶這位阿姨！！！！
其實是因為你要軋戲時間卡不過來所以想要先上台吧？成龍？！
教授後來抽籤決定，
不好意思，拎背的組被抽到第一組。
Now what, BITCH!
2009-04-15
[硬漢廚房‧外傳] 菜豆炒肉絲（？）
「你知不知道什麼是菜豆？」
「我知道啊」
「那你會怎麼煮菜豆？」
「直接下鍋炸」（…不是嗎？台灣鹽酥雞攤不是都用炸的？）
就在一種被人當笨蛋的狀況中，同時我又再一次的體會到人間處處有溫情。
感謝您！Shania同學！
（A.K.A Sienna，…我說妳沒事搞這麼多名字幹嘛啊？！）
…下次可不可以直接開放點菜呢？
2009-04-13
這個報告…
題目是Drug testing at work place: Ethical or not?
我實在是寫的很幹
Kottonmouth Kings – Peace Not Greed
A lonely teenage daydream,
Of things I just might be,
A surreal kind of thinking,
Keeps on drifting in on me,
My twisted body is lifeless,
Not so their twisted minds,
Peace through power their motto,
Power through peace their crime,
Product of our environment (x8),
Maybe one day they will legalize weed,
In the year TWO "G" the planet could be deceased,
We plead to the fleece while we're beggin' on our knees,
In our hometown Cali with bears and green trees,
Birds and the bees, hot sand on the beach,
Shells in the sea and I'm living in peace,
Like a dog on a leash locked up with no key,
I gotta smoke under cover, Motherfuck the police,
Yeah, see the matching hand and they're robbing from the hat,
The laws an illusion to symbolize that,
Putting us in jail for the ???? tax,
I can see the wires in the levitating act,
I can hear the lies and they're calling them facts,
I can see the bars and they're lookin all cracked,
I read between the lines but the lines are all cracked,
I can feel the knife turning in my back,
How would life be if the world smoked weed?
Guaranteed there'd be peace not greed,
See, it's hell,
Living in a cell,
Legalize the plant only time will tell,
How would life be if the world smoked weed?
Guaranteed there'd be peace not greed,
See, it's hell,
Living in a cell,
Legalize the plant only time will tell,
You are a sacred being of light,
Projected into reality for a purpose,
Demand the right to your moment,
In this holographic gift with no rules, no borders,
Except for those who you choose to accept and live by,
Abolish government means nothing to me,
Forget about god, he's not here to see,
We live by a system, a perfect mold,
People perfect people who are poor and old,
Lies were spent on a sad defense,
They said we're lookin for a method in this world ???,
Presidents are named,
Presidents are labeled highest man on the government table,
America, land of the free,
Free to the power of the people in uniform (x2),
How would life be if the world smoked weed?
Guaranteed there'd be peace not greed,
See, it's hell,
Living in a cell,
Legalize the plant only time will tell,
How would life be if the world smoked weed?
Guaranteed there'd be peace not greed,
See, it's hell,
Living in a cell,
Legalize the plant only time will tell,
Society, fuck it!
I've had enough!
The system's full of crooks, straight up corrupt,
You look like a decoy by the knife a duck,
And your money keeps em smokin on a BC Bluff,
You're caught up in the headlights of my V-Dub bus,
TSOL and the Kings about to even things up,
Your birds will take all the air out the sky,
Bring em down to our level,
You can work, can't hide,
Product of our environment (x8)
A lonely teenage daydream,
Of things I just might be,
A surreal kind of thinking,
Keeps on drifting in on me,
My twisted body is lifeless,
Not so their twisted minds,
Peace through power their motto,
Power through peace their crime,
The government keeps tight control over the population,
While the schools teach the kids restricted education,
Murder, Rape, Sex, Underage prostitution,
They got the war on pot, they got the wrong solution,
I wake and I bake, nowhere to escape,
Livin' life in a tank they invade my space,
Betrayed full of hate while they're shootin all blanks,
Society's lost in a paranoid state,
It's the illusion of ownership, It's take what you can get,
The banks are the loan sharks and everyone's in debt,
And if you get ahead how quickly you forget,
You're hanging from a burning rope without a safety net,
They tax you when you sell,
They tax you when you buy,
They take half when you live,
They take half when you die,
These are the lies that they are stating as facts,
I can see the wires of the levitating act,
How would life be if the world smoked weed?
Guaranteed there'd be peace not greed,
See, it's hell,
Living in a cell,
Legalize the plant only time will tell,
How would life be if the world smoked weed?
Guaranteed there'd be peace not greed,
See, it's hell,
Living in a cell,
Legalize the plant only time will tell,
I'm glad that I can read,
I'm glad that I can write,
I read their fuckin bullshit,
Every single night,
When off in my head went a little fuckin light,
It told me what was wrong it told me what was right,
World bank-Power and control,
Issuing the money and they're dollin' out the roles,
Charging what they want to with the money, the control,
Living in their nightmare, giving them your soul!
2009-04-12
[硬漢廚房] Curry House
今天又是趕報告趕的了無生趣的一天，
搞了兩天，資料越找越多，結果也只擠的出兩面有夠苦。
晚餐時想說吃點補充活力的東西，晚上看看能不能再衝一下，就決定去吃咖哩了。
點了中辣的咖哩豬排飯。吃了第一口之後，我就知道晚上應該完了。
因為…
一. 根本不辣。
二. 鹹到靠悲。
三. 服務生雖然很正，不過剛坐下不到十秒就一直催點菜，很盧讓我有點怒。
所以別說是增加精力，我現在基本上已經是準備上床睡覺的狀態…。
嗯，明天會更好。
2009-04-11
[硬漢廚房‧外傳]韓式辣炒年糕
如果我現在還在台灣，我敢保證煮飯這件事，壓根跟我不會有任何瓜葛。
這幾年下來，雖然不是說很會做吃的，也是被逼的能做出幾樣上的了桌的東西。
不過吃飯時間大多常常揪人出去吃吃喝喝了事…
因為我懶，怎樣？
偶爾也是會有同學或朋友佛心大發，招待去他家 騙吃騙喝 相聚一刻這種爽事發生。
像這個炒年糕就是最近的戰績，
Shania同學，年糕很好吃，謝謝！
…啊下次吃什麼？
Whatever
週四FIN570考第二次期中，
基本上我大概把全部的春假都丟在這科上面了。
考試那天一大早更是六點多就出門去圖書館。
當考卷一丟下來，全班基本上是同步發出嘆息聲，
進行到問答題時，我真想頒獎給發明「幹你老師」這句話的那位天才，
為什麼我看不懂題目在寫啥鬼？為什麼前一次期中的範圍也在出題範圍？
他媽的我哪記得呀幹！
交卷時經過一位仍在奮戰的女同學，她那幾乎是白卷的考卷真的只能說霹靂慘。
回家之後啥鬼都沒吃，完全處於失神的狀態，早早就昏睡過去。
=====================================================
週五睡到自然醒，起床之後就一路擺爛。
晚上跟同學們一起去吃飯順便去看Stand-up Comedy。
嗯，我以後要跟同學出去玩時一定要記得先確認人數，
這種奇數的人數往往暗示Group Date的可能性，在這種狀況下單人出席的感覺會很尷尬。
還好這次有三個人是單人出席，謝天謝地。
美式的Stand-Up Comedy通常十分尖銳，
總之如果你想到的形容詞是低級、粗俗、過激、下流、偏見，
基本上就對了。
去看這種表演真的接受度要很強，最好的例子就是我一個同學，
基本上我覺得她這輩子大概是十三聖徒之一轉世的吧？
平常就很拘謹的她，來看這種表演絕對是個錯誤。
我當天就看她怒了整整兩個小時。（她那笑得很樂的男友當天回家後應該會慘兮兮…）
2009-04-09
[硬漢廚房]Savoy Pizza and Pasta
我住的地方離華人區是相當近的，
一般而言開高速公路大概半小時內會到，而飆小路的話大概十五分鐘會到。
基本上要吃什麼中式的東西不會像其他美國中部州的人那麼苦。
不過今天介紹的這家店，看店名就覺得應該是賣PIZZA、PASTA這種洋鬼子 飼料 食物的…
可是很難笑的一點就是是…
本店最讚的餐點叫
海南雞飯
我來米國這幾年，上港式茶餐廳點最多的就是乾炒牛河，其次就是海南雞飯。
為什麼都是這兩樣？因為夠鹹、夠油、夠開胃。
吃過很多家的海南雞飯，不是肉太乾就是飯沒味道，
日前愛麗斯同學說到要去ROSEMEAD這家餐廳吃海南雞飯，
我還沒好氣的跟她說最好是值得開上快一個小時去吃這個其實到處都吃的到的東西。
而且還是一家根本看起來就跟海南雞飯沒關係的店…
（而且還據說只有這道好吃，感覺就很慘）
對不起，愛麗斯同學，我錯了，您大人有大量。
我吃過這家的海南雞飯之後，我在附近的店都不想再碰這道了。
這家做的就是這麼好吃。
那天又剛好開車保養經過SAVOY，連想都沒想就抓了一盒回家。
雞肉相當的入味，而且油的讓我很滿足。
附上的三盒醬料，左至右是辣醬、醬油、雞油薑泥。
通常醬油我會放鳥，因為加了會太鹹。
這盒辣醬是提味的關鍵，差了這盒真的會失色。
用雞油跟雞湯煮出來的飯，光飯就超美味的。
我的吃法是把辣醬跟油薑整個全加上去混著吃。
熱量高是一定的，不過真的是太好吃啦！
只要有人約，要我專程開車去吃我連眉頭都不會皺一下。
2009-04-07
FIN570 2nd Midterm
依照慣例，糊成一片。
Break Stuff – Limp Bizkit
Its just one of those days
When you don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sux
You don't really know why
But want justify
Rippin' someone's head off
No human contact
And if you interact
Your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
It's just one of those days!!
[chorus]
Its all about the he says she says bullshit
I think you better quit
Lettin' shit slip
Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip
Its all about the he says she says bullshit
I think you better quit talkin that shit
(Punk, so come and get it)
Its just one of those days
Feelin' like a freight train
First one to complain
Leaves with a blood stain
Damn right I'm a maniac
You better watch your back
Cuz I'm fuckin' up your program
And if your stuck up
You just lucked up
Next in line to get fucked up
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
Its just one of those days!!
[chorus]
I feel like shit
My suggestion is to keep your distance cuz right now im dangerous
We've all felt like shit
And been treated like shit
All those motherfuckers that want to step up
I hope you know I pack a chain saw
I'll skin your ass raw
And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break somethin' tonight...
I hope you know I pack a chain saw
I'll skin your ass raw
And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break somethin' tonight...
I hope you know I pack a chain saw
I'll skin your ass raw
And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break your fuckin' face tonight!!
Give me somethin' to break
How bout your fuckin' face
I hope you know I pack a chain saw, what!!...
[chorus]
Full Throttle – Kottonmouth Kings
When im done wit my dieing days youll probly figure out this aint no phase
gonna go out 180 proof kickin up dust spreadin out my loot i tell my wife
and kids daddys goin home they shed there fucken tears I luv them to the
bone and all the playa haters they can eat a dick and....
“No turnin back now we going out full throttle smokin' crazy mad herb with our
hands on the bottle.. We some Stoners Reaking Havoc we ain’t no role models- No
turnin back now no turnin back now daze tensions high seems everyone’s on edge
walking over pits of fire on a skinny ledge now daze you loose control its take
what you can get where anarchy reigns supreme you ain’t seen nothing yet now
no turnin back now we going out full throttle”
Watch out, back up, cause this is the fast lane
I got a lead foot, heavy boots, and 3 hoots on my brain
Ride looks like its on fire, but you know my engine’s clean
I’m just smoking the tires, racing off every green
Step up, Step up, If you got a little somethin’
But your rev better be louder then my system that is bumpin’
Don’t come round me talkin shit if you’re not built to the brim
Cause now you gonna get whipped, I never lose, I always win
Where you at, right here, and there’s plenty more comin’
See when the Kings’ is in the house, everybody comes runnin’
Meetin in the parking lot, to smoke pot before the shows
Hookin up with all the ladies, takin home all the ho’s
We having fun, Fuck Yeah, Will it stop, Fuck No
I’d still be tokin’, blowin’ endo even if I was broke
Ain’t that right D-Loc (hell mothafuckin’ yeah!)
Fuck a fist or middle finger, throw your horns in the air.
“No turnin back now going out full throttle smokin crazy mad herb with our
hands on the bottle.. We some Stoners Reaking Havoc we ain’t no role models- No
turnin back now no turnin back now daze tensions high seems everyone’s on edge
walking over pits of fire on a skinny ledge now daze you loose control its take
what you can get where anarchy reigns supreme you ain’t seen nothing yet now
turnin back now we going out full throttle”
Fuck everybody if you said I couldn’ rap
Your kickin fiction and I’m kickin facts
And it’s like that
You aint nothing but a fag
Let me write it on my pad
Just to get you mad
Now Day’s it’s seems like everybody on edge walkin over pit’s of fire on a
skinny ledge I’m going full bored fallin till I fall out Graduated High School
But a college drop out that don’t mean shit because there's no turning back.
I got my bong my buds and my baseball bat ready for what eva at any time who
eva
You gotta have that mental or this shit o’l get you no where
Got be cleava and put it all together
Remember that sayin I float like a feather come on dog how could you think that
you got it twisted do the math.
“No turnin back now going out full throttle smokin crazy mad herb with our
hands on the bottle.. We some Stoners Reaking Havoc we ain’t no role models- No
turnin back now no turnin back now daze tensions high seems everyone’s on edge
walking over pits of fire on a skinny ledge now daze you loose control its take
what you can get where anarchy reigns supreme you ain’t seen nothing yet now
turnin back now we going out full throttle”
訂閱：
文章 (Atom)
發表文章
